1. Pay Attention To Your Anger
Throughout the day, monitor your anger. Pay attention to what makes you angry and what triggers your anger. Write about these triggers so that you can keep track of them for next time. Once you become aware of what is REALLY making you angry, then you can better manage it. Believe it or not, we get angry for reasons we are unaware of and, therefore, channel this anger into the wrong directions and onto the wrong people or things. For example, have you ever had a bad day at work and then took out your anger on your family or a friend?
2. Rate Your Anger
On a scale from 1-10 (10 being the angriest you’ve ever been) rate your anger when it starts to occur. A healthy range for anger is usually 1-5. Oh yes, anger is a normal and healthy emotion. Unfortunately, people tend to wait until their anger is too intense and are, at that point, unable to control it. If your anger is between 1-5, then you are in a much better place to manage it. Once it is above a 5, bad things tend to happen. We act out, fight, hurt ourselves, drink/drug, and more.
3. Find Your Anger Signs
Ideally your goal is to catch your anger early enough (between 1-5) so that you can manage it better. The trick to catching your anger early involves recognizing your anger signs. Start to notice what you feel physically right when you start to get angry. Most people have a physiological reaction when they get angry. For example, their heart starts racing, their body tightens, headaches, sweaty palms, breathing increases, etc. You need to find which signs occur for you. Trust me, everyone has signs even if you think you “just see red” or you just blowup. The problem is that people don’t pay attention to these signs and, therefore, there’s no slowing down the anger train. So, find your anger signs so that you can intervene and manage your anger before it gets above a level of 5.
4. It’s Time To Cope
You’ve done the hard work. Finding a coping skill is easy. Anything that helps you to relax and that’s calming to you: Breathing, Exercise, Cooking, or other hobbies. Use this coping skill even when you aren’t angry though. It needs to become an automatic response for anger or stress.
Now you are able to recognize why you are angry, how intense your anger is, and your anger signs. When you notice your anger signs and that your anger is escalating beyond a level 5, you have to use your coping skills to keep your anger below a 5. Again, you’ll feel angry, but not out of control angry.
5. Therapy, Therapy, Therapy
Anger can be the result of things you are unaware of or it could be more than you can handle. Premier Psychological Services, P.L. can help you with your anger.
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